How AI Robots are Planning to Take Your Job

Like or not, artificial intelligence is here to stay, for better or worse. If you're a big corporation that hates paying employees and wants to replace them with robots, then it's for the better. If you're a human worker and you can be replaced by a machine, you better start planning your next career. Fictional defense contractor Automated Intelligence Technology Group just release it's new "Alpha Goodman" model robot, which Big Biz bought out quickly.

The company produced a limited first edition of 50,000 units at a premium price of $100k per robot. Next quarter they plan to roll out another 100,000 units exclusively to billion dollar corporations. This series is called "Model A" whereas the next series will be called "Model B." Alpha Goodman comes with hundreds of features, the most notable being he can communicate in English with his owner. His eyes are cameras and his ears are audio recording devices. Since he can walk and move like a human, he's good for manual labor, which should help put a lot of angry blue collar workers out of work.

Shareholders, who regularly cheer on massive layoffs since it typically puts more money in their pockets, showed their approval of the release, as the stock jumped 20% from $100 to $120. Warp Street analysts set a price target for $180, so expect more layoffs.

CEO Steve Suckner told the press that he expects robot manufacturing to become a $100 billion biz in the next 5 years. Alpha Goodman can be programmed to speak as many as 25 languages and is able to lift up to 200 pounds, although he only weighs 75 pounds. He's been programmed to answer questions about math, science, engineering and computer programming. Some say it's only a matter of time before the company releases a version that can replace lower level regional managers, as rumored by shareholders on social media.

The robot is currently being utilized by numerous industries, from medical to military to manufacturing. A lot of small biz owners are complaining this development will disrupt their markets, which of course, is exactly the plan. The possibilities for this invention have yet to be realized, but speculation is spreading that any job that can be replaced will be replaced by Alpha Goodman in the next decade.

Created by Alex Cosper