Introducing a Wild Nightclub Called Blast Fever Lounge

Downtown PeerAmid Island had become a ghost town to many until a new owner bought an old building and turned it into a dance club called Blast Fever Lounge. Once known as "The Brickhouse Building," the club has now transformed into a hot spot for the 21 and over crowd. The new owner, government hacker Evan Springer Satanica, told the PeerAmid Island Times that the club name came from the idea of blasting 10 songs at once as loud as possible.

Satanica says the club is introducing a new style of dance music called "trashup." While a mashup involves mixing a few different recognizable songs together, a trashup is just noise and isn't meant to be perceived as anything but the soundtrack to a crazy atmosphere. In other words, if you can tell what you're hearing, the DJ isn't doing his job and could get fired, according to Satanica.

The point of a trashup is strictly to fuel alcohol sales, the entrepreneur confirmed. "We're not pretending to be here to make an artistic statement," he explained. "We're here to sell drinks. On opening night that's exactly what we did. We had a line outside the door a mile long. By the time of last call the crowd had sucked us dry. We literally ran out of booze. So yeah, we're going to keep on doing this format until it burns out and we come up with some other gimmick to sell booze."

As eccentric as the concept sounds, the Blast Fever Lounge is on track to become PeerAmid Island's number one nightlife business in terms of revenue. Sales figures from opening night showed that the club made $5,000. This successful launch can be explained partly because the Downtown business district has been running on a tight budget for the past decade. Several clubs have closed down, leaving young people with nowhere to go but a few old movie theaters, a bowling alley and a few local band venues where you can see rising talent like the Shadow Government Occult Band. But those clubs tend to have a high cover charge.

The success of Blast Fever Lounge raises serious questions about what society views as entertainment. "Let's face it," Springer remarked, "people go to clubs to be seen with other people. Alcohol is primary, whereas the music is secondary. The cool thing about trashups is you don't have to worry about not knowing how to dance. You can just get out on the dance floor and act out any foolish fantasy in your narcissistic mind and it's acceptable. Besides, trashups allow us to play any music we want, including unsigned bands that don't expect royalties. That's how we get out of paying licensing fees that other clubs have to pay. Popular music is dead anyway. But the party lifestyle lives on."

Created by Alex Cosper