Pharma Bribes Prescribed by a Quack

Nobody's supposed to know how the relationship between the medical and pharma biz works. You're not supposed to know that pharma companies bribe doctors to prescribe their drugs. At least that's the case with my cartoon character Dr. Skull Quackery, introduced on September 29, 2017. Doctors aren't supposed to be questioned in our society, even though most of them are trained to only focus on prescriptions as solutions to health problems.

Nutrition and exercise, two keys to good health, are avoided in discussions. Dr. Quackery hates cures because they threaten to cut his high salary.

Dr. Skull Quackery comes from a family of elite medical professionals that goes back several generations. He understands that the medical biz is an offshoot of the oil biz and that all the drugs he prescribes are derivatives of petro-chemicals. He's a staunch supporter of the pharma biz, as he regularly plays golf with several pharma CEOs. On the golf course some of the topics that come up are bonus vacations, exotic dinners and high-paid speaking tours that promote pharma products.

Quackery knows that the perception of "modern medicine" revolves around synthetic drugs. He was indoctrinated into pharma propaganda at an early age since his father was a pharmacist and physician who built his wealth on accepting pharma bribes. Only a few times have Dr. Quackery's clients complained about either drugs that were rushed to market without being tested for safety or flat out fraudulent drugs that don't even accomplish the placebo effect. Patients who are in a dumbed-down hypnotic dream state are the ones that keep craving high-priced prescription drugs.

Most of Dr. Quackery's patients live in a zombie state of mind. They've already taken too many pharma drugs to the point of addiction and an altered body chemistry that does not resemble the natural human. Quackery gets to take two vacations per year, both funded by the pharma biz. He takes home about $100k from his hospital job, but earns an additional $150k in bribes.

The reason Dr. Skull Quackery gets away with accepting bribes is that he's good friends with judges, lobbyists, lawyers and lawmakers. He's able to provide discount deals on pharma drugs and health care to his friends. If you're wondering if Dr. Quackery works with nutritionists, there's no chance for that. He likes keeping his patients ignorant about nutrition, which keeps his income high.

Created by Alex Cosper