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The Numbered Days of Super Polluter


Super Polluter is a new cartoon character introduced on August 26, 2017. He represents all the companies that pollute the environment and try to fight legislation that would lead to stricter regulations. His main concern is making fossil fuel investors happy. So he constantly tries to put out positive PR about the oil industry - stuff like how we need to create more jobs for the industry. He supports war big time since that helps drive up his pollution portfolio.

Nobody knows where Super Polluter comes from. He's someone who is feared by the public and praised by the investment community. He has no concern at all for the environment. In a speech for financial CEOs he recently said, "we've got to control production in a predictable manner so that big investors can play the market." He also told them that money should always be a priority over the environment, since the environment doesn't generate revenue on its own. He works closely with lobbyists on getting new oil and natural gas pipelines approved.

He also works with various other industries as a mouthpiece for popularizing pollution products. The agri-business, for example, pays close attention to his interviews on talk shows about how to expand food production with genetically-modified techniques. He's not much of a scientist, however, who double-checks the safety of GMO food crops. He's more into promoting genetically-modified food and opposing any argument against it, even if studies show it's dangerous.

One of this biggest accomplishments in his mind was silencing the protesters in a small town who wanted to outlaw vending machines at schools. Studies showed that candy and soft drinks were high in sugar content, leading to students being too hyperactive or depressed about homework. Theorists believed that less sugar would increase learning ability. But Super Polluter started showing up at meetings to discredit the studies, saying they weren't complete. Some say he paid administrators to stop referring to the damaging reports.

His main job is to counter any arguments in the media that call for tougher laws on pollution. He usually talks about "capitalism" and the "free market" to justify mass pollution. He doesn't buy into any theory that human health is adversely affected by industrial pollutants. He calls anyone who even implies that man-made chemicals lead to serious diseases a "crazed tree hugger." He regularly attends parties with CEOs of the pharma biz to plan out his next televised marketing pranks designed to keep people hooked on prescription drugs.

Little does Super Polluter know, electric cars are gaining in acceptable and are expected to overtake the combustion as the norm later this century. More and more people are learning about mass pollution, which could cut down on the future profits of greedy big polluters who use society as a market while posing to help them. Eventually the pollution biz will have to learn about nature and realize that its days are numbered. Businesses are increasingly moving toward sustainability as a way to improve company image.

Created by Alex Cosper