After one year in office, how do you grade President Trump? (01/20/18)

EVAN SPRINGER SATANICA: He gets a C for keeping the surveillance state going, although he could do much better. It affects my job because I'm a government spy and love it. I would've given him an A had he not killed the TPP. It's part of my patriotic duty to defend the elite from middle class terrorists who talk trash about Wall Street.
BIRDSY BIRDSONG: I'll give him an F for not doing anything to protect natural wildlife. Birds see the world from high elevation, Trump sees the world from an industrial sewer-level perspective. All his policies help create more waste. He is extremely ignorant of the environment.
CARRIE ANN SAVANT: I give Trump an F- because his policies are incredibly out of step with the rest of the world. Hello? It's 2018, not 1918. Trump constantly makes unprofessional and inaccurate statements on Twitter. His immigration policy contradicts the idea of America being an open society of immigrants. He lives in the distant past.
AGELESS REBEL: I despise everything about Trump. He's an automatic F for being such a corporate fraud. His Trump University was a total fraud, so was his campaign promise to let the states decide about marijuana legalization. He misled the independents who thought he was for the people. He's not. He's for the warped and demented corporate establishment.
GORILLA MARKETER: I give Trump an A for staying in the headlines all year. He's an excellent marketer of fascist principles. Trump knows that narcissism sells as long as you've got something to brag about. He's a billionaire so he gets away with it. His approval ratings are low, but he's at least in the headlines every day, which matters if you're planning on marketing yourself in movies after you leave office.
RUDY RIDDLER: Trump's corporate tax cut was brilliant and long overdue, so he gets an A. Watch it create millions more jobs overnight. Now businesses aren't strangled to create new jobs like they were during the socialist Obama Administration. Trump has a chance to be as great as Reagan if he keeps up his policies.
CHESTER COMMONFOLK Trump gets a D for colluding with Russian communists. I've kept up with the Trump scandal by watching Rachel Maddow on NBC religiously. The conspiracy gets deeper every day. It's darker than Watergate. Trump is a con artist who steals elections, but at least he supports the military industrial complex.
SUPER POLLUTER: I give Trump an A+ for looking out after elite interests. It's about the economy controllers, stupid, not the dumb masses or tree huggers. He's also done a lot for my friends in the oil industry by appointing Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson to Secretary of State. We need to drill, baby, drill, even if it means starting wars around the world.
ZOYLENT GREEN: Trump is a total F. He hates the environment, but loves junk food and pollution. He's probably the worst thing that's ever happened to the green movement. All his cabinet picks are proof he's not serious about leading the country. He's more like buds with oil biz polluters.
FREEDOM CHAMP: He's an F because of the way he tried to interfere with football this season. No one who cares about football needs to know what Trump thinks about it since he only understands the military industrial complex side of it.

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