Inside the Mind of a Swing Voter

William Jennings McCarthy votes for both Democrats and Republicans. Sometimes he even votes for third party candidates, but usually he bases his votes on who comes up with the best TV commercials the last few weeks of an election. Yes, he gets a kick out of negative ads. In the latest election McCarthy helped the Democrats win back the House and the Republicans hold on to the Senate.

His real name was something like Bill Jezbellionson, but he decided to name himself after a conservative populist of the late 19th century - William Jennings Bryan - and the paranoid anti-communist career bashing Senator in the fifties, Joe McCarthy. He's able to get along with progressives when the topic is for America to resist imperialism, as long as it involves fighting communism. Otherwise, he's paranoid about Russia as a threat to American democracy even when there's no news about it. In his mind, Russia is still the same country it's been the past century, as if the USSR never collapsed in 1991. As a result, he supports heavy military spending.

McCarthy leans to the old right in supporting religious values. He doesn't have a problem with schools throwing out science books. He supports the idea of prayer in school and doesn't mind "creation," rather than "evolution" being taught as fact in the history of civilization. In school when he studied the Scopes Monkey Trial of the 1920s, he took the side of William Jennings Bryan, who defended creation as a legitimate academic study.

Maybe the real point about William Jennings McCarthy is that he'll vote for anyone that says what he wants to hear, which can usually be summed up in soundbites. As long as the politician ends the speech with "God Bless America," he's usually happy. Some say that there are many swing voters who act like McCarthy at the voting booth. In case it's not obvious by now, he's part of the Dumbing of Society Project, in which individuals are dumbed down to just be consumers who follow the trends of mass consumption, as influenced by big media.

Swing voters, as ridiculous as they may seem, often decide close elections. "I don't think too hard about politics," brags W.J. McCarthy, "but I do vote my consciousness. My level of consciousness when it comes to current issues is zilch. I'm too busy watching TV shows and movies at night to care about what's going on in the real world. To me Trump, Obama, the Bushes and the Clintons are all the same. They get to be big stars on TV."

As much as McCarthy seems like an old fashioned wacko who's easy to make fun of, Michelle Obama recently visited The Today Show on NBC and talked about how much she loved George W. Bush. As paranoid and out of sync with modern values as McCarthy is, he might have a point that politicians are friends at the highest levels, where they're bonded by big money, which might be the reason the U.S. establishment often bends to the right.

Created by Alex Cosper